In the first few weeks of her entrance, Sam had been adjusting to her new reality and I had been adjusting to having a new alter around. These moments of learning to work together are very valuable and can also be very exhausting. Most of our days are spent sleeping. When we are awake, I am usually in the background, watching Sam and Sally (my only alters at the time). Throughout this period of time, Sally had been incredibly helpful by making sure my daily tasks were being fulfilled. Sam, on the other hand, had been getting to know everyone in the family. She has now grown comfortable around certain people and will incite games of mischief.
The adjustment period is vitally important because it allows an alter to gather information about their environment. It is especially crucial that you create a safe space and allow them to express themselves in their own time. Some alters are trauma carriers and may have certain fears. By allowing them to feel out the environment and people around them, you allow them to determine who and what is safe.
After the adjustment period is completed, your new alter will give you information on how much they know. For instance, Sam knows how to clean, read, and drive. Based on that information, you can make a plan for what skills are necessary to function in your daily life. For me, I would like to be a teacher for special education. Therefore, my alters need to be comfortable around people, noises, and need to know how to handle any harmful situations. We started this plan by walking around various places in my city, including the mall. Remember, your alters may act out if they do not know the social rules or ques of being out in public. Do your best to remember it is not their fault and they are trying just as hard as they can. It is also normal to feel exhausted after the outing or the lesson. Learning for our alters takes a lot of mental capacity. Be okay with sleeping long hours. Now, just because there is progress does not mean that you push yourself too far. I am still taking multiple naps and breaks throughout the day. Most of my day is spent sleeping or on the phone, and that’s okay. Remember, a little bit of progress is still progress. If you move too fast you could overload the entire system. Eventually, we will be able to live life as normally as possible.
“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.”— Martha Beck
“It is not about being fully healed and then starting your life; it is about embracing healing as a lifelong journey while allowing genuine connections to organically emerge along the way.”— Yung Pueblo
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