Throughout life, we have many people who will care for us and will do everything they can to be supportive. But sometimes, it can take a toll on them. My husband had been the most supportive person throughout my DID journey. He has taken me to doctor appointments, counseling, gotten to know the girls, and still finds time to spend with me all alone. Yet every few weeks, he has been feeling like he has not been doing enough for our relationship. He is worried about how our marriage will work and coincide with other people, how I will function, and if I will even be able to handle the change of lifestyle (newsflash: I did!).
I know that these changes are things that neither of us can control, yet it had been a strain on our relationship. One night, I did some digging on TikTok on couples with someone having DID. It turns out there are quite a few! There was one couple where the partner was even dating two of the alters as well. I found that the most important part from all these relationship successes was to become friends with the alters your partner has. They all spoke about having good days and bad days with the system and even some days without their partner being active whatsoever. Yet, because they were close to the other alters they were never alone.
In the moments where we are not our strongest selves, it is important to rely on others. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, so don’t make it so that you have to go through difficult patches alone. The ant hive is stronger together. They support, feed, and build off each other. If the ants can do it, why do we take so much pride in asking for help? Ever now and then, I rely on many people when I run out of my medicine. I need help with basic needs, like walking, bathing, eating. Does that make me weaker as a person? No, it does not. We all have momentary relapses and that is perfectly normal.
“It is not about being fully healed and then starting your life; it is about embracing healing as a lifelong journey while allowing genuine connections to organically emerge along the way.”— Yung Pueblo
“A single leaf working alone provides no shade.”— Chuck Page
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